The Best Tips for Setting Goals with Your Partner

Get your partner on board – prepare your family to dominate goals and live a life worth living. Do not wait until January to align your vision and goals.

Every year thousands of American’s set goals. They usually last about as long as it takes to think about them. Many people do not write them down and keep them present in their lives. I’m here to help you change that.

Here’s what you need to understand; goals change and that’s OK. You grow and develop along with your partner. Nonetheless, people who set goals and write them down stand a much better chance of achieving the life they desire.

Many of us desire more in our lives. We try to imagine what that is and identify a full-proof path to get there. The reality for couples is there are challenges. I can tell you that after 15 years of marriage it takes constant cultivating to keep your family moving in the same direction.

When is the last time you truly understood your partner’s goals? This is the crux of our goal setting issues. We do not listen well. We do not truly emphasize with our partner’s desires. That’s OK, it’s not easy. Lucky for you, I’ll pass on what I’ve learned.


My Wife and I on our Goal Setting Date.

The Goal Setting Environment

Have you taken your partner out on a date lately? This is a great way to build a vision and set goals together. A couple of pointers:

  • Your mindset may be at different levels, that’s OK
  • You may need more than one date to fully develop your vision and goals
  • Respect your partner’s inputs; remember your mindsets may be at different places
  • Understand your partner’s goals and contribute to those goals 100% of the time.
  • No negative talk – go in with an opportunity mindset
  • Go to a space that allows both of you to do your best thinking



Vision Before Goals

Why is it that a kid has a wild imagination? They might tell you they are in their room fighting dragons or launching off on a space ship. It’s because they are not bound by the same social norms or rules of adults. They can imagine anything. They can think big.

Be mindful of your subconscious. It will limit the life you truly want. Think about every area of your life and what it could be without worrying about money. This will help break through your preconceived limitations. Now that you both have a clear vision you can reverse engineer your vision.

You must develop your vivid vision before you truly set your goals. Where do you AND your partner see your family three, five, and even ten years from now? Describe it in great detail. Write it down and revisit it at least quarterly.

Where do you see your business three, five, or ten years from now? Describe that too. Write it down! Make it visible, make a “vision board” that you see daily.

Lastly, to truly validate you’re on the right path, try the five whys. Encourage each other to go deeper by asking why. Dig deep into your why to achieve a crystal-clear vision.


Setting the Goals

Take your vision and determine the cost. What does it cost you in money and what does it cost you in time? To achieve optimal success, you must align your goals with your vision. Based on the vision you described you can now determine your goals.

When setting goals think about lead measures and lag measures.

Lag measures tell you once you’ve achieved the goal.

Remember, the WHY behind all these goals should be closely aligned with your vision.

Example; $1 million dollars in sales.

Lead measures tell you if you’re going to achieve your goal.

Example: Sell 10,000 bikes at $100 dollars.

This list will accelerate your goal setting:

  • Family/Personal
    • Do you want kids?
    • Do you want to spend more time with your kids?
    • Do you want to watch a movie together with your partner weekly?
    • Do you want more intimacy? It’s important, talk about it.
    • Do you want to learn photography?
    • Start a creative Instagram account that brings value to others?
  • Finance
    • Do you know your net worth or have a personal finance sheet?
    • Where do you want your net worth in 5 years?
    • What charities do you want to give to?
    • What are your savings goals?
    • Does your monthly household budget align with your financial goals?
  • Fitness/Health
    • Do you want to live longer?
    • Do you want to eat healthier?
    • Do you want to lose 5 lbs.?
  • Faith
    • Do you want to strengthen your faith?
    • Pray more?
    • Attend church more often? How often?
  • Business
    • What is the ultimate goal of the business?
    • Do I want to start one?
    • Improve the current business?
    • Does your partner want to hire out her current role because it stresses them out?

The Final Word

Don’t wait until January to start thinking about your goals. Start now and get ready to dominate the next year. Once you’ve got a clear list of your goals written down you need to visit them daily. Is what you’re doing that day contributing to your goals or your vision? Have your goals changed? That’s OK if they did change, have another date with your partner to fine-tune your goals.

The outline is all there for you and your partner to win. Take action!

2 Responses

  1. Thank you for posting! I really appreciated this article because my partner and I are trying to structure how to set goals for ourselves and each other. I like this approach because you give some options on the mechanics of it. Right now, we are trying to figure out our whys and goals because we are looking to purchase our first home… eek! However, we have FI/RE goals, and not sure if buying this house is setting us up for that. FYI we live in the Bay Area and housing prices have skyrocketed with the low-interest rates and it is a seller’s market here so debating if we should invest out of state instead. All big decisions however this definitely helped us to focus.

    Thanks again and also thank you for your service to our country!

    1. You’re on the right track! We’ve all been there. California is an expensive high appreciation market. If it’s cash flow you’re looking for, out of state is a great strategy. Some turnkey companies are really fantastic. Some are terrible. Great to hear you all are setting goals. That’s where the magic happens.

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